I keep saying my deadname in my head, this kinda started a bit after a family gathering where I heard my deadname a ton. This was in may and sometimes I will just say my deadname in my head and it feels wrong, it also kinda makes my real name feel a little wrong, even though I know it’s not and I like the name skylar
Then it’s not dead.
It doesn’t change that its not their name, that it makes them feel bad, and that they do not want to use it or be associated with it. That’s what we mean when we say deadname.