I didn’t click the link.
hErE’s WhY
I mean I get it, there’s an age at which referring to someone as your boyfriend or girlfriend feels a little lame.
Honestly I use partner or spouse mostly because I can’t remember if fiance or fiancee is correct and it won’t stick in my head properly. Calling her my girlfriend makes her feel “demoted” or something. (I’m sure that’s just her joking around. Partner doesn’t dictate what stage or if government paperwork has been filed.
I can’t remember if fiance or fiancee is correct
Fiancé is male, fiancée is female.
They are pronounced the same though?? I hope??
Yes.
Do you remember the alt key for the accented e or do you type it some other way?
Dedicated key on an azerty keyboard on tablet/laptop, or switching back to French setting on the phone. If weren’t French I woudn’t bother searching for it every time.
Nobody asked, but as a gay man I exclusively refer to my husband as “my husband.” I never liked the term “partner.” We didn’t start a business together, and we’re not cops. “Life partner” bothers me less, but it still seems stilted
n+1 here, but I’m a bi woman married to a straight man and I’ve started using partner more recently because there’s a lot of baggage in the history of power dynamics associated with the titles of husband and wife.
I also hope it makes people think for a minute if they need to ask me clarifying questions about my marriage status or sexuality/how the person I’m married to identifies.
At the same time, I totally understand the impact of not using generic words when it comes to gay marriage, where there was such a long fight to be recognized as husband and husband. So cheers to you and your husband!
Thank you, you’ve summed up a good clash of feelings around these terms with great economy.
When I (male) use the term wife to describe my relationship, I don’t want to contribute to this feeling that I’m pulling for the default in an exclusionary kind of way. Like contributing to this cultured of presumed heteronormativity.
Better in my case to leave a little unsaid, so as to make room for other kinds of relationships.
It’s cool to be proud you’re gay. Being proud your straight feels like all lives matter energy.
Same. Gay and married to “my husband”. Before that he was my boyfriend, not my partner.
Yes, my boyfriend! It seems so odd when I see straight people use the term partner. Well, as far as I’m concerned, they can have it.
As a man who has used the term partner in a heterosexual relationship, sometimes it is nice to have a term that implies a bigger commitment than “girlfriend” when you have no intention of marriage. That was definitely how I used it—to convey that this woman doesn’t have a ring, but I give her maximum authority when it comes to my affairs.
Can’t relate. I grew up thinking marriage would always be illegal for me. When I had the opportunity, I took it.
I’m glad you had that chance. Marriage is something I never particularly wanted, but I was brought around to the idea by a different lady. Now we are in counseling and things are on the rocks…I think I may still not believe in marriage, but I respect everyone’s right to choose for themselves.
Hey man.
I hope that whatever happens with you and your wife, that you’ll be happy and have a bright and good future.
Thanks, I appreciate that. It’s a weird thing when two intelligent people with good intentions suddenly experience a breakdown in communication, but I’m hoping that is what the counseling can help with.
My girlfriend isnt a girl anymore. She is a woman. So I think the term girlfriend is weird and childish
My partner said the exact same thing. I’ve always preferred “partner” - it just sounds nicer, like more respectful, egalitarian. We’re mixed gender so it’s wife/husband, which just sounds so old-fashioned
I’m a millennial and I’ve always referred to my partner as such. Boyfriend and girlfriend always seemed so weirdly juvenile, and it’s interesting to leave things ambiguous for people who are immediately expecting to categorise you.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I started doing it because I want to destroy Western culture.
Funnily enough, due to Western culture marriage has become a business so ‘partner’ is more accurate.
Online dating is essentially a startup pitch. You spend weeks reviewing ‘applications,’ then finally meet for an in-person ‘investor meeting’ to discuss potential ‘synergies.’ If things go well, you can initiate a merger, but if the market shifts—aka they’re not into your favorite TV shows—you’ll quietly dissolve the partnership and move on to the next opportunity.
I do it for two reasons: partly because it’s fuck all business to anyone else (within reason) what the status of my relationship is.
Mainly though, because it generally messes with folk because they don’t understand what it means, and feel compelled to ask silly questions about it.
Mainly though, because it generally messes with folk because they don’t understand what it means, and feel compelled to ask silly questions about it.
Yeah, this is my favourite part of it.
I call my wife, “Comrade.”
That’s Our wife, Comrade
Well, a married household is basically a commune.
Mine and I are getting married this week and we were both excited to see “spouse” as an option on the documents.
We are now spouse and spouse.
We are now spouse and spouse.
As a couple you are spice
This is by far the best thing we’ve heard on this and both love it!
We well cherish this for our whole marriage lol
Congratulations!
I never knew this was considered wierd anywhere.
Back in the day it did sound weird. Partner was usually a business relationship, not a romantic one, and it was almost exclusively used by the LGBT crowd.
More gender neutral terms are good, but they’re still going to sound odd to folks who spent 40+ years hearing the terms used in a different way. That’s just how progress goes, older folks eventually will either get used to it, or be the weird relative ignored at holidays.
This is super common in most other English speaking countries and has been for years. Well before the culture wars.
I agree with this a lot. Boyfriend or girlfriend is the person you are romantically attached to. Partner is a MUCH stronger word, it implies teamwork and shared purpose; the understanding that you have each other’s backs.
There are also plenty of people who are married for whom the word partner does not apply. It’s sad.
I think a lot of people reject the title ‘partner’ because for a very long time before gay marriage was a thing, there was only ‘civil partnerships’ or ‘civil unions’ and thus ‘partner’ was the only accurate term, ‘wife’ or ‘husband’ couldn’t apply as they weren’t legally married. So they see ‘partner’ as a sort of ‘almost as good’ runner up.
Seems weird you’d think the “end goal” of accepting people is so everyone can use boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever partner just seems so disconnected and formal
My partner is not a girl, she’s a woman, and she more than a friend to me. She is my partner in life. So yes, it is more formal than “girlfriend.” That’s the point.
And no, I won’t marry her. We’re not religious, and we don’t believe the government should have any input in our relationship. We’ll happily have a ceremony, but she will still be my partner at the end of it.
Sometimes having the government on your side is important. (E.g., entrance to hospital rooms in emergencies)
Not trying to convince you, just something to consider depending on your jurisdiction
I do worry about that.
It theoretically shouldn’t be a problem here. We’re listed as each others primary emergency contacts, and we’ve been together longer than 2 years, which over here grants you most of the same privileges as marriage anyway. So it hopefully won’t be an issue. I just hope we never have to test that.
Actually, where I know it will matter is if one of us had to die unexpectedly, but that can be negated by just having a proper will drawn up… which, come to think of it, we should really do…
Drag’s is dating and riding a nonbinary dragon. Please tell drag what to call drag’s partner.
I didn’t think I was enforcing any rules just felt like people are missing out on something special, it’s not like there hasn’t been a long fight to get equal marriage rights
I’ve heard significant other/SO and other half. Seems a bit off if drag’s polyam though.
There’s a lot of alternatives, but fuck the haters and use what drag’s partner and drag prefers.
What else are you supposed to say after “Howdy”?
There are no other legitimate options.neighbor, stranger, doody…
My spouse and I just use SO (esso) for significant other. I like it more than partner as it is explicitly a romantic or at least very important relationship.
Why not husband/wife?
