I’m sorry this is happening to you. I had similar problems with my parents. (But I am not transfem, just queer.)

Do you live with your mom? How long will that continue? Are you financially dependent on her? I ask because depending on her temperament your strategy will need to be more careful if so.

You say she belongs to a religion, some flavor of Christianity. I’m sure you get stories about Christians misbehaving all the time. The next time she says something about a trans person doing something actually bad (like setting something on fire?), bring up Christian misbehavior. Ask her if that means all Christians are bad. (You could do this with really any group she respects or identifies with.) When she says no, segue that into saying that there are bad folks from every group but that doesn’t mean the group is bad.

When she complains about what she thinks is misbehavior but is really not, such as queer people making fun of religion, also turn that around. Has she made fun of atheists/other religions, or does she look up to people that do? Bring that up. She will likely double double down and say it’s different, but insist it is not.

When she complains about a non-issue, like a masc person wearing a dress, you can just reiterate about what not a problem it is. So if she says something like “Look at that man with painted nails… shameful.” You can say something like “I don’t see the problem, he looks like he’s just living his life.” You can disengage but not agree with her at any time… but if she keeps digging like “well he shouldn’t do that,” just ask “Why?” to things that don’t make sense. It will boil down to a core belief that you can choose to challenge or not.

Your other option is just to not really react. Just respond with the bare minimum, like “ok.” Look up gray rocking.

There will always be people that don’t like you, some for stupid reasons, some for petty reasons, and some for valid reasons. It really hurts when someone you care about holds a poor opinion of you, and it’s not because of something you did wrong. At some point though, if her opinion doesn’t lighten up, you will just have to accept that is how she is. But the same way you cannot control her, she cannot control you. You can choose how much your mom is in your life. (And if you are a minor, you still have some control over this. She will only know what you share with her and what she can find out herself. You can only give her the bare minimum if you wish.)

Good luck out there. It sounds like she wants what’s best for you but doesn’t know much about queer people so hopefully she will come around.

You ever get comfortable in bed, but you really have to pee? Sure, everything is comfy and just the way you like it, but you have this nagging feeling that won’t go away?

Yeah, it sucks to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. You have to get out of the comfort and into the cold. Stumble around and adjust your eyes to light. Get your feet onto that cold bathroom floor… but once you do it, you can get back to bed and get comfy again. The blankets might not be in exactly the same position and you might have had to swap out a few blankets, but soon enough you are settled in again. But now it’s even better because the discomfort in your bladder is gone!

With your back to the water, barbecue. Messy as hell. But that doesn’t matter cause you’re in the shower.

Time to fight the cacademons.

What would have made you feel better? My guess is that you would have been happy if the other person wasn’t upset with what you said and didn’t disagree with you, right? Do you think if you were able to explain yourself, then the other person would have understood you and not disagreed with you?

It’s likely that would have not been the case. There is a very good chance that they still would have disagreed with you even after elaboration. And you know what? It’s not your fault.

You will have a large set of views about different facets of life. Even if they were all the most sane, rational views, many people will disagree with them. (And in different combinations. You may have Andy agree with you on X, Y, and Z but disagree on Q, R, and S. Brad may think you’re right with X, R, and S but disagree on the rest.)

It is inevitable. So, what is someone to do?

First, is it something that matters? If it’s something like an opinion of which celebrity has the best smile, remind yourself it doesn’t matter.

But if it’s something that does matter? Make sure you educate yourself. Accept evidence to the contrary to what you believe (from reliable sources). Keep an open mind. Accept input. Be aware of your own bias. If you need to update your own viewpoint because you found out you were wrong… Then do it! Yes, it sucks that you were wrong. But it’s better to have been wrong then correct yourself than to stay wrong. This is important… If you’re wrong, act the way you would want the other person to act if they were wrong. (You will make the world a better place doing this.)

Now, does this person still not agree with you (and you updated your own viewpoint based on facts)? Can you change their mind? Probably not. Is this a failing on your part? No. You can’t control other people, just like they can’t control you. But you can control yourself.

Being told we’re wrong sucks. But if you do not have sufficient evidence that you are wrong, then you should be confident in what you think. Instead of framing this scenario as “this person disagrees with me,” frame it as “I disagree with this person.” With time and practice, you will more easily move to “I disagree with this person, and I am ok with it.”

One last note. If it’s something that is very important to you, make sure to do what you can to make the change you want to see in the world. If you were very concerned about pollution for instance, do things like trash tag, buying less stuff, and advocating for your cause. This specific person may not help, but you can still live your life as a reflection of your own values to the best of your ability and maybe even collaborate with others as well.

I hope this helps.

Tigress is from Kung Fu Panda.

No. These are printed plastic advertisements delivered via the postal service. (Other companies might purchase small mini catalogs/coupon books, colorful envelopes, or eye-catching postcards for their mail-based advertisements.) These mailers are sent to many people. Most people refer to these mailers as “junk mail.”

Spectrum is very bad about sending lots of these, as OP has shared.

The fat, jolly, red-suit-wearing Santa as we know it today, created by Coca-Cola to sell more product, is a Marxist. TIL. 😂

Java version is the easiest to run on Linux. I have seen that people have gotten Bedrock to work but it looks a lot harder to get running and has more limitations.

So for the folks that call lemon-lime soda “lemonade” (instead of the non-carbonated drink consisting of water, sugar, and lemon juice), is the idiom “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” just not a thing? Or is it an idiom that is in use but it just doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense?

French onion soup = SNAFU

I used to be homeless. (I am doing significantly better now though. Hard work and luck.)

I did actually have a job, it just didn’t pay enough to get me a place to live at the time. I was too ashamed to beg for money, but I did occasionally hang around restaurants and ask people for food. (So much shame because I had so many peers with family that helped them and they would look down on me for “failing to launch.”)

Why didn’t I go to a food bank? Because the bus system sucked and I couldn’t get everywhere I needed in the amount of time I had in the day. Additionally, I had no kitchen. No place to prepare food that isn’t ready made. The shelter did not allow me to store food.

Government help and charities were definitely not enough, but it did help. A lot of people in charity were good people, but there were quite a few that were just plain nasty. At the shelter, I would get yelled at for following their rules and asking for my phone that they held at the front desk so I could get to my job for instance.

It does not feel good when your family lets you down, your community lets you down, the government lets you down, and even the people that are supposed to fill in the gaps lets you down. Really makes you think that you are undeserving.

You are right that some homeless people have a hard time finding a job. A lot of places will discriminate against you if you do not have a permanent address (and some will even look for addresses of shelters). If you went to jail, a lot of places won’t consider hiring you. And if course wages are just really low compared to cost of living.

Yes, it is ok to feel bad for those people that don’t have what you have. That is human. Yes, some of them may have made some bad choices and some of them might not need the help. But a lot of those people are just victims of an uncaring system. If you do not help them (which is fine, it is not always possible), at least treat them with dignity. Being treated like a worthy person, rather than a second class citizen, means a lot to someone who society let down.

And with proper software support, the aux jack can do some limited pause/forward/back!

I do really like Android Auto, but the reliability of the Aux connection is something I very sorely miss.

Typically, I brush and floss before bed. In the morning, I will rinse my mouth out to get a lot of the bacteria from overnight out of my mouth.

If I have the energy, I will brush about an hour after my morning snack and caffeine.

If I don’t have the energy, I will rinse my mouth out after breakfast.

I find rinsing my mouth out, while not as good as brushing, really helps freshen up my mouth.

Thank you for answering my stupid question, that makes a lot of sense.

I mainly wanted to make sure I wouldn’t inadvertently weaken a union. I recognize I miss a LOT of things that are obvious to others but I am trying to learn. Being autistic and raised in a very conservative household has necessitated me having to think carefully about the life lessons I was taught and to logically work through cognitive shortcuts as I identify them.

Got a real stupid follow-up question: besides asking in an interview or discovering the fact in the news or a web search, is there a way to know if the reason a company is hiring because the union members left?

What is stopping the company from hiding this fact? I want to believe it works but every time I am hopeful about something like this working there is something I am missing that makes things business as usual.