[Requesting engagement from trans-feminine people on HRT]
I don’t yet know when I will begin hormone replacement therapy, but the anticipation leaves me prone to developing expectations I worry are unrealistic.
Not sure how best to explain. My emotions, and sometimes my expression of those emotions, will feel masculine when heightened. Feeling intensely happy or angry about something even unrelated to my identity, those feelings give me dysphoria because of how masculine they seem. It’s not that being happy or angry is inherently masculine, of course. The dysphoria comes from the emotion’s manifestation seeming masculine.
I don’t know if this makes sense, but has anyone experienced something similar and/or seen changes to these sorts of things?
I don’t think I’ve ever felt that the way a specific emotion manifested was masculine or feminine, but since starting HRT 8 months ago, I do feel a lot more free to express myself. I cry easier and I tend to not get as angry anymore. I’ve gotten significantly more social and I smile more often as well. And overall, I feel like I’m living my own life now and not someone else’s.
I know I used to repress myself from expressing certain emotions beforehand. Perhaps that’s kinda what you are feeling? Which, starting HRT did help me break down some of the mental barriers I had surrounding those emotions.