Week 1/Background -> lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/8767449
Dosage:
4mg Estradiol
100mg Spironolactone
Physical effects:
After two weeks, physical changes are still minimal. My body still feels more relaxed overall, with less tension and back pain. I have been dealing with Covid for the last week, which has run me down and held me back from acomplishing some of the things I wanted to. I am finally getting past it though, and hope for a better week next week.
Mental effects:
Mentally I continue to quickly improve. I feel more aligned both internally and with the world around me. I am sleeping much better, and still having an easier time both falling asleep and getting up. It feel like the world around me is changing, even though I know it’s me that is. I feel like I’m the same person in a world that fits me better. Interactions with others feel more genuine, and I’m finding it way easier to reach out and connect with others. I’m finding myself challenging some of my long held beliefs about what my weaknesses are and what I need to feel “ok” in life. I’m finding I’m almost feeling bored with some of my problems, like I’ve let them hold me back for too long for no real good reason, and it’s time for that to change. Being slowed down by Covid has frustrated me quite a bit, I finally want to get more done in life, but physically haven’t been able too. I’m looking forward to that changing and focusing on how good it is that I’m feeling motivated enough to be frustrated.
I never believed any of this was possible, yet here I am doing it. Find support, reach out, you are less alone than you think.
Melissa
I’m coming up on one year. Being so far out from where I started, I almost forgot what life used to be like, and how much better it is now. I’ve recently been in a bad headspace, but this helped remind me of some of the good things I have going right now, and why I’m transitioning. Thank you, and congratulations :)
What has surprised you the most over that year?
Probably my mental state. My first week on HRT was miserable because I was already super depressed, but I also had TONS of uncertainty about my identity and anxiety about the future for trans people in my country. All the HRT did at first was make me feel more numb and give me a lot of sexual complications, so it felt like my body wasn’t working and it was maybe the most dysphoric I’d ever been.
But then, on week 2 I suddenly wanted to get out of bed? And I could feel emotions again? Food tasted better!? Idk what it was that first week but I’m glad I struggled through it, because now it feels like I’m actually LIVING for the first time in my life. I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that every aspect of my life changed for the better. I can enjoy even the mundane, I suddenly have goals I could achieve, I feel closer to all of my loved ones, I can laugh, I CAN EVEN CRY NOW!
Other than that, the sexual changes were very unexpectedly intense, and I mean that in the best way possible haha.
That’s great to hear! I’ve been quite surprised how motivating its felt overall, like sitting around doing nothing doesn’t sound nearly as enjoyable as it used to.
Congrats hun! I’m actually right there with you. Started my journey on 2/9 so seeing your experience helps put mine in perspective.
The mental changes are spot on for me! Although the first week I had a couple episodes of vulnerable insecurity. This week I’m a lot more calm and able to enjoy life better. Almost like my baseline happiness has been increased.
Hope to continue to see your posts :)
-Your almost biHRTday twin Olivia
I felt some of that insecurity that first week too. I’ve found I tend to want to run away from who I am whenever it causes friction in my life. That feels a lot less possible now and that scared me a little. I’m realizing I don’t want to run away from this anymore though, and that part of my intention with HRT is to force myself to accept that.
That is… Exactly what that was. Wow, thank you for putting words to the feelings I was having. Still working on identifying and understanding my emotions, haha.
Thank you for your insight! It really helped me ❤️
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That’s a trans thing? I thought it was just anxiety.
That’s what I thought too, but I’m realizing just how much of my anxiety has been gender related. That’s not just magically gone now, but I feel much more able to face it and deal with it.
I started my hormones almost three weeks ago as well. I wish they’d started me on 4mg like you, but I’m sure it will be adjusted at my 3 month check in.
It wonderful to read your thoughts and feel as if they are my own in such a way. Its actually very helpful, as past trauma and temporarily untreated ADHD make reflection to a similar level a real challenge for me, so thank you.
A couple of weeks prior to my HRT start date, I stumbled upon an app that I’ve firmly incorporated into my upwards trend of positive mental health choices, as well as specificlaly my transition. Its called Daily You (Android Repo, Available on Fdroid). Its a privacy friendly, and simple way to do a daily journal/Photo log/emotional log. I use it to take a selfie every night, and occasionally add a 1-2 sentence entry. There are more feature rich apps, but I’ve always found myself unable to commit to those daily for very long. I’ve not missed a day yet, and I know despite my mirror/pic shyness, I’ll be happy to at least have them for myself.
Thanks for the suggestion and kind words! It’s helpful hearing others are having similar experiences, it makes it feel more legitimate in a way. Sometimes I worry that its all a placebo and I’m just convincing myself this is helping me. It feels different than times in the past where improvements have been temporary though, like something fundamental is shifting into the right place.
Congrats from another Melissa! 🏳️⚧️
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I’m unfortunately not doing hrt yet, but hopefully soon …
