I want to talk about this because this has been a very major issue for me. I’ve suffered through various kinds of internalized bigotry for a very long time. I’ve had immense internalized racism due to the fact that I’m black alongside internalized anti-neurodivergent sentiment and internalized queer/transphobia.
It’s like every time I feel like I might be able to get rid of these ideas, they keep coming back. Unfortunately, these thoughts run very intensely too. My internalized bigotry is not mild at all, and it usually manifests in ways like being scared and/or uncomfortable around black people, feeling disgusted by trans people when I see them, and insulting neurodivergent people usually through snarky comments I make under my breath.
I even get really frustrated when I see stuff that supports people like me. Seeing “Black Lives Matter” posts on social media drives me mad, alongside things like “Trans Rights Are Human Rights” that just makes me cry. It makes me FURIOUS, and I really want to overcome this kind of thinking, especially for being trans.
I’d argue that my internalized transphobia is the strongest and harshest out of all my forms of internalized bigotry. It started from my family being extremely transphobic to the point of disowning me and kicking me out, but it exacerbated and reached its peak due to the transmedicalist tendencies within the trans communities I’ve visited online. I am non-binary, and even though I have gender dysphoria and am medically transitioning, I have been discriminated against by so many damn truscum that my mindset started expressing violent animosity towards trans people period. This eventually shifted my mind to believing that this is MOST (or maybe even all) of the trans community, and it makes me irrationally angry at anything that’s pro-trans.
This issue has been going on for so damn long, and it’s causing way too much turmoil, depression, and utter distress for me to no longer do anything about it and just leave it untouched. With that in mind, how do I ACTUALLY shift my mindset to not hate myself and other people over these characteristics? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I know your asking mostly about the transphobia side of things and have already had some good replies, but I happen to have a couple of articles bookmarked about internalised ableism specifically in neurodiverse people (which can also impact not only how we think and perceive the world, but how we interact with it) that are quite helpful and I think a lot of the points can be applied to all kinds of internalised bigotry (they also link further to other resources):
https://www.autisticparentsuk.org/post/overcoming-internalised-ableism
https://www.neurodiverging.com/what-is-internalized-ableism-neurodivergent-people-need-to-know/
TL;DR: acknowledging you have internalised bigotry (you’re already there), be kind to yourself (and others like you) in unpacking it and understand we’ve all been socialised with these ideas, find people like you who are sharing their experiences or peer groups online or irl where others are going through similar things to you - to normalise being who you are to yourself, eventually if you’re safe and comfortable to do so - express who you are more openly and without shame (that takes time and hard work, but you’re working toward freeing yourself).
And don’t forget anti-bigotry, internalised or otherwise is life long work, that shit has been branded on our brains, also everyone makes mistakes, so there is no “perfect” or “pure” just “doing your best” and “being willing to admit fault” which you seem to be doing now so just keep going, you’ve got this.