I have a private parking spot off street in a city. I don’t like backing up towards the main road; since it has pedestrians and stuff. It’s a little harder to see.

So I back into the spot. It’s way easier than backing out - and pulling out is even easier. 

My work parking garage is already really tight. It’s another situation where backing in is easier than backing out - and driving forward our is even easier. So just some planning.

Politically, we agree on 90%+ on things. Like - it would be really odd if I married a woman who didn’t believe my friends deserved basic human rights. 

But I will say we handle conflict very differently, loss very differently, anxiety very differently, fear very differently. We’re different people.  The important thing is that were able to communicate with one another. We’re supposed to understand each other’s motives, behaviors, needs. And try to anticipate them.

Ideally, we’re strong in areas the other is weak in.

As far as interests, there’s a lot of crossover. But I have specific hobbies (music production mostly), that she has no interest in. She’ll give feedback from time to time. And also, she plays piano. But we don’t play together.

I like goofy nerd shit, she likes The Bachelor. I like some gaming, she thinks it’s lame and reads in her free time. I mean, no great relationship has ever thrived based on a shared love of Star Trek or something.

So most importantly, we match well in two areas. One, we can make each other laugh. Two, we like the same foods and are adventurous eaters.

For what it’s worth, half of every live-in relationship is trying to decide what to eat next.

There’s nothing wrong with having a preference. At the end of the day, when you adopt a pet - you are saving their life and dramatically changing yours. How you come to that choice is deeply personal. It doesn’t matter if it’s superficial or whatever, least of all to the cat. As long as you give them love, warmth, food and shelter.

 I don’t really have a preference on breed, I just care of they’re sociable and friendly. I do have a preference for girl cats. My dearly departed cat was a girl, and my wife’s cat (very much alive) is a dude. Love him, but it’s not the same.

I’m not particularly into anime either, but I thought that “The Devil Is A Part-Timer” and “One Punch Man” were really funny and clever.

Excel for Dummies 2023

“Ape alone… weak. Apes together…. strong”

So no, it’s baked-in the DNA of how we survive. We group to fight threats. Early days, that threat is protection from hostile wildlife like bears.

You scale that to a modern civilization - and you have groups of people fighting for resources, food, money, opportunities, land, etc. Sometimes they’re gangs. Sometimes they’re entire countries. Sometimes they’re groups of allied countries.

And heck, you see it in stupidly small scales too. “Coke v Pepsi”, “N64 v PlayStation”, “Rock Fans v Disco Fans”.

Sunni and Shia believe 98% of the same stuff. But the bit they don’t agree on pushes fringe lunatics to terrorism, war, ethnic cleansing, etc.

Same deal with Protestants and Catholics.

The only thing could make us drop “us versus them” mentality is a giant alien force more violent and sick than anything you can imagine.

Then maybe, humanity will be the “us” finally.

I’m not making a philosophical or physiological distinction.

I’m making a semantic and etymological one.

Nature, as its defined in the English language, is used to describe things that aren’t human creations.

Sometimes it’s used to describe things that, even if manipulated by humans, is distinct from an artificial, chemical or industrial process. Like “natural remedies”. Sometimes it’s just a marketing term, “natural flavors” in a soda brand.

Humans categorically can’t be nature - because we use the word “nature” specifically to distinguish our own creations from the rest of the world.

A human can choose to live in nature, meaning they’re living in a place that is plurality not man-made. An cabin in an unplanned forest, versus Midtown Manhattan. But even then, the human is the not-nature thing. They’re only surrounded by it.

Nature - by definition, are things found in the physical world that aren’t human creations.

Modern homes require electricity, clean running water, modern insulation, glass, smoke detectors, town governments oversight, corporate resources, insurance, etc. All of these things are human creations.

Man-made is similar to hand-made. Both are distinct from machine-made.

Nature is a bit of a spectrum. Something being handmade is closer to natural than something from a factory. Still, neither are natural.

I mean, I won’t have much leftover after paying off my condo. I live in a very expensive city.

Plus, you never know what you need money for down the line. Maybe my heating will need replacement. Maybe I lose my job. Maybe a family member will need professional care, like a home attendant. Or maybe I’ll take another vacation next year. Who knows.

$500K is not a crazy amount of money. It’s certainly enough to dramatically improve my life. But not enough for me to stop working, or buy stupid things - or anything like that

Probably pay off the condo. Maybe do some upgrades.

Travel with my wife somewhere for a 2 week long vacation.

Throw the rest in savings.

Columbia House and BMG were record clubs in the 1990s. This was a subscription service that regularly sent music album CDs to your house. They advertised in mailings, TV, radio, etc. It was ubiquitous.

The catalog for available records was quite vast. 

In order to get new customers, these record clubs had a loss leader marketing approach. You would get 5-10 CDs for only a penny for signing up, and you are not charged for the first month. After, there is a hefty cost. The CDs are yours to keep, but you need to cancel the membership before the first payment is due.

Word spread pretty fast that the deal was legit. For many of us kids pre-internet piracy, Columbia House represents the biggest album haul of that era.

Hard to say.

Maybe Louis CK before all that stuff. Twice actually. He was nice, and a bit shy each time.

I met a lot of other comics. Hannibal Burress, Judah Freidlander, Jim Jeffries were all favorites. All seem very genuine.

For musicians, I guess Victor Wooten is the most famous. That was really magical. He was exactly as I hoped, dude is a natural teacher.

Actors… I ran into Adam Scott (Parks and Rec, Severance) when I was quite drunk (and on a date) many years back. We were both in line at a speakeasy ramen restaurant at like 11PM.

I don’t think I met any politicians or other kinds of famous folks.

Whats it say in the employee handbook regarding time off?

It’s not the manager’s job to decide if someone’s personal obligations are necessary or not. It’s their job to assure there is coverage and the work is complete.

If the employee is abusing the shift-change timeoff policy, that is a different story.

If the manager is the owner, it may be a good idea for your wife to freshen her resume.

I recommend downloading Discord to join an English Language Learning server.

The voice chat rooms allow you to speak with real people to improve your listening comprehension. The text chat rooms will improve your reading and writing.

There are many native speakers there that enjoy helping, so I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. It’s not “gamelike”, but nothing is better than talking to real people.

New Game Plus starts you in the same place, same face and family - but you now have dwarfism. Every aspect of life will be that much more challenging. Everything from dating, transportation, even securing an accessible living space.

You have some options.

Firstly, remember that learning music is basically learning a new language. So be patient.

Piano/keyboards are great because of low-cost of entry. You can find second-hand instruments in all sizes (25 key up to 88 keys) on Craigslist or Reverb for as low as $50. If it has MIDI or USB, you can hook it up to your computer and control endless downloadable virtual instruments - and/or record it easily to write songs.

It’s an ideal instrument to learn theory. I recommend getting a roll of masking tape and labeling all the keys until you memorize them.

Guitars are more fun, IMO. They’re portable. You don’t have to learn as much theory to get started and it’s certainly less formal. Some of the best guitarists around don’t really know what they’re doing - they’re just feeling. You don’t get a much of that with piano.

Guitar is all about awkward hand positions and building muscular memory around that. I never know what note I’m playing half the time when I play guitar - I just know the positioning.

The downsides is maintenance. Guitars require tuning before playing, changing strings periodically, etc. There is a higher cost of entry. A lot of new players but terrible quality cheap guitars with unchanged strings and get discouraged by the poor sound and feel.

Ukeleles are generally cheaper and it’s easier to get a good sound. They work similar to guitar and you can figure out the basics fairly quickly.

I have an older brother by 4-5 years.

We didn’t really get along when we were young. Fought over things - games, TV remote, CD player, etc.

But when he left for college, we grew closer. He still lived nearby, and my folks encouraged us hanging out. It was sort of an escape. Home life wasn’t great, and he and his friends were fun. He was around for a lot of my pivotal life moments. When I finally got to college, I moved in with him as roommates. Worked well.

We’re friends, basically. We have very different personalities - but we understand each other very well.

Now we live in different cities, hours apart. He’s married with a kid. I’m married and childfree. We see each other a few times a year. We text and call regularly.

I guess in this sense, I’m quite lucky.

When a relationship ends, you’re watching something die. You will have to grieve, like you do for any death. Not just grieving for the end of the relationship, but grieving for all the lost opportunities.  The trips you haven’t taken together, things you haven’t said to each other, the family you never make together.

Unfortunately, it sucks.

These things take time to process, understand, learn from, and eventually move forward with.

You need to adjust to a new normal. And that new normal should be busy. Schedule regular gym visits, classes, language learning, book club, cooking, guitar time, whatever. Productive routine is important and it will help stabilize you.

Sometimes, the pain you feel will be greater than you built in resources for dealing with pain. This is when you add professional counseling to healing regiment. Please sing feel too proud for therapy. Even online therapy companies like BetterHelp are a great resource.

Go out of your comfort zone and say yes to being with people. Invited for after-work drinks, or a birthday party you don’t really care about… go anyways. You don’t have to talk to them about the breakup, just being around others will help you feel less alone.

Also, do a little house cleaning. Rearrange some furniture, get some new clothes, change the rug - something so what you see marks a clear before and a clear after. Take a vacation if you have some PTO and resources. You don’t have to spend any money or go anywhere. Just go to a park and chill on a bench. Relax a few minutes a day.

At a certain point, will be looking forward to tomorrows more than you look back at yesterdays. It could be weeks, months, but it’ll be a sign you’re ready to date.



In some cases, they never went away. In New England - especially northern parts of Maine and New Hampshire, there are communities that are plurality Francophone, and have been Americans for generations. 

I think one thing that people often don’t understand is that American English is highly influenced by the French language - accounting for 30% of all words. Words like Lieutenant are pronounced differently in British and American because of the French influence. Or the word “herb” - Americans don’t pronounce the H just like the French.

As far as cultural things, of course the US is known for its wine. Napa Valley is one of the best wine regions in the world. Those wines consistently beat French and Italian wines in international competitions. Finger Lakes, as well. American cheeses like cheddar are very popular. There are entire states known for this, like Vermont and Wisconsin. I think in terms of bread, you see more influence from Italian and German breadbakers then French.

That said, French influence is just one of many patches on the rich tapestry that is America. It was impactful, but the influence was definitely overshadowed by groups like Irish, Italian, Polish, Chinese, and African Slaves - whose descendants have created our greatest modern cultural exports.

Yeah - some of the places in DDD he visits are amongst the best, and definitely deserves the extra attention. I know some local spots that have his picture. He’s got great taste.

I do wish his own restaurants are better. But they’re not the worst, but far from good. The best thing I can say is that they can accommodate large groups which is hard to find in Boston. It’s inoffensive enough if you’re getting a burger and fries.