I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.

The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.

Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.

The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.

If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.

I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?

What do you talk about to your coworkers?

What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).

  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    10 months ago

    It’s not a waste of time. It builds a background relationship which you can then leverage to get things done. It is social capital. Negotiation lubricant.

    Yes, fake it. It will be valuable when you need a favor, or information, or even when you want to ask your boss for a raise.

    • 6H2Od9XeDu@feddit.deOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      10 months ago

      It will be valuable when you need a favor, or information, or even when you want to ask your boss for a raise.

      has this really worked for you? Bosses are impersonal, their only aim is to maximize benefits. Giving me a raise contradicts that.

      • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        10 months ago

        Most people act emotionally, not rationally.

        When you find an autistic boss, they’ll appreciate your silence and logic, until then, play the game.

      • Fal@yiffit.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        10 months ago

        You realize that your pay isn’t coming out of your bosses pocket, unless you work for a very tiny company.