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It might take a bit to wade through the BIOS settings to get it up but I’d recommend a process of elimination based on “Doesn’t sound relevant to the boot sequence” to figure it out. I have a recent HP laptop and I installed KDE Neon on it.
Searching for “How to install Linux on [your BIOS and version]” might also help.
Personally I like Jack Johnson - Upside down for the “Fuck you” as in “Fuck you world, I’m not going to let you ruin my day. I’m going for a walk and to enjoy life.”