I practiced in the shower and in the car when I did it - I wasn’t out and didn’t have many safe spaces.

Are you focusing on resonance at all? It’s generally more important than pitch. Focus on raising your resonance, and pitch will follow.

Also, if anyone is interested in starting a discord to practice voice training, please invite me!

I started with a doctor, but I’ve basically been DIY for about 2 years now due to a lack of competent providers in my area.

If you can afford it, it’s worth getting your blood checked at a place like Quest Diagnostics or any other non-hospital affiliated lab. Look around and compare prices. it should be a few hundred dollars. It’s not something to do frequently, but you can at least get an idea of what your levels are. The one caveat is that if you’re taking oral medication, it might not even be worth it unless you can time your lab right at the peak dosing time.

You aren’t likely to overdo it to the point of safety unless you’re taking massive doses. WPATH recommends 100-200 for your E range, but I know girls that are under the care of (less informed) doctors, and I’ve seen results closer to 1000s without ill effects. It’s important to stay active and not smoke to prevent blood clots, but that’s about it. It’s good to do some weight training to help with bone strength, in case you lose access to your hormones it can help osteoporosis if you have had any testicular atrophy.

The most important thing - of your seeing results you’re happy with, keep it up! E can be magic, but I’ve found a lot of my passing privilege comes from learning how to frame my face and pick clothes that are flattering for my body type.

Voice training is well worth it if your goal is to pass, but it’s often one of the most difficult things you can do, especially without a teacher. If you’re interested, DM me and I would be happy to help with resources and what not.

Glad to hear some of us are doing well, even without official support. Keep it up!

Thank you for the thought-out response.

It doesn’t sound like site soreness, and if you’re using insulin needles, those are too small to get into the muscle anyway.

Your dose might be a little high, but I doubt it’s so high that it’s putting you at a risk for blood clots.

It honestly sounds like it could just be soreness from exercising more if you started doing that around the same time as injections, and your body isn’t used to it. It could also be an electrolyte imbalance, as some others mentioned, but if you’re young and relatively healthy that’s fairly unlikely.

I usually start with the most likely scenario and move from there. It’s pretty unlikely to be a DVT, injection site soreness, or electrolyte imbalance, so it’s likely just soreness. If you aren’t already, try adding some light stretching before or after you exercise. Applying heat should help, too, if it’s just muscle soreness. I would bring all this up with your doctor so they are able to rule out the more serious stuff, but I would not be overly concerned about it.

On a somewhat related note, when looking up medical information I would stick with Mayo Clinic or Cleveland Clinic for general medical stuff. For trans specific info, Fenway Health is the gold standard (imo), someone linked to them in a different response. You can also check WPATH standards of care 8, but that’s meant as more of a reference for medical professionals and it might be a bit dense.

Please let us know how it goes, and keep asking questions! It’s best to get from medical professionals, but sadly folks like us don’t always have that luxury.

Estrogen does not dilate blood vessels, and vasodilation won’t cause pain. It’s very unlikely that the hormone is causing the pain.

I have a few questions, if you don’t mind? You said you are doing the injections subcutaneous. Where are you injecting? What length of needle are you using? Subcutaneous injections are relatively painless and shouldn’t be causing any of the issues you are describing, but if you’re using a needle that is too big or injecting in a bad spot the pain could be related to injection site soreness.

Pain in the legs and below the knee could be a sign of deep vein thrombosis. It’s very unlikely, but estrogen can make you more susceptible to blood clots. You are at higher risk for this if you smoke cigarettes (especially if you’re over 35), if you have a more sedentary lifestyle, or if your serum estrogen level is too high. Subcutaneous injections tend to lead to higher serum estrogen levels, which can put you at a higher risk for blood clots.

You said you are DIY, is anyone checking your estrogen levels? What dose of estrogen are you taking, and how often?

It’s pretty unlikely the pain is from a DVT, but that is a very serious complication you need to rule out (a dislodged clot from a DVT that travels to your lungs can cause a pulmonary embolism, which can potentially be fatal).

I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending, but these are the questions I would ask if you were a patient.

I tried to, I’m not sure where? The link I followed did not seem to let me, but as I said, sometimes I struggle with tech.

Do you know where I could find a link?

Maybe I’m dumb, but I can’t access this

The job was to help develop the program and department, at least that’s how they sold it to me. I was specifically told management is receptive to input from my position, and it was well within my purview to consider these issues. And, given that I don’t think ever worked a full 40 hour week, I wouldn’t say I did anything “double time”.

I did give them a reasons to get rid of me, in that I showed there wasn’t actually enough clinical level work for a nurse at this position, at least with how they structured it

Doubly so, because my nursing certification is an associate level. Everywhere I looked requires a Bachelors.

I don’t think it helps the manager I reported to doesn’t work with trans patients, and I only saw her when I needed something (like an IT request). Definitely put her subconscious interpretation of me as “someone needy”.

Have an appointment tomorrow. Don’t know if it constitutes legal discrimination, but I’m almost tempted to bring it even if it’s not a slam dunk. They care so much about reputation a lawsuit would hurt them more than I ever could.

Thank you. Already had a meeting scheduled with a lawyer tomorrow.

I just wanted to do some good. I didn’t even get a chance to pass off my patients.

I have professional help

💛

Thank you

Existentialism, and Camus in particular have a lot of influence in my thought patterns. But to Camus, love was one of the central pillars of deriving meaning from nothingness.

And I don’t have that.

In fact, I have significantly less love than before.

I have people that say they care, and in the moment, they mean that. But at the end of the day, I don’t matter enough to check in on, unless I warn them.

I just thought for the first time in my life I would be celebrated and appreciated for who I am.

But the reality is, no matter how much they front or posture, the “normals” will never accept me.

I could offer them salvation on a silver platter, and still be met with disdain.

So, again, what’s the point? What’s the point in trying?

Your typo gave me the mental image of my cat as an autobot. 10/10

Anyone. It isn’t about my physical characteristics. I just want to help people and instead I just get ridiculed and critiqued. I’m tired of being alone and sad. My cat is the only reason I haven’t killed myself, and I don’t know how much longer he can hold that dam.

Depending on where you are, you might not need a diagnosis. In the states, any physician that works in gender care can diagnose you as long as they follow the Endocrine Society/WPATH guidelines. Planned Parenthood is a great resource to get started (if you’re US, apologies for my assumption. I’m an American on the internet, everyone else must be too, lol)

Congratulations! You’re first visit should be pretty chill. They should talk to you about how long you’ve felt this way, if you’ve taken any steps to transition, a health history, and if they’re good, they will ask about your support system.

They should go over all the potential risks and effects of feminizing hormone therapy, including what’s ‘permanent’, how long changes take. You should also be open if you smoke/vape - it won’t preclude you from taking E, but if you smoke you shouldn’t take it orally.

You should have some labs drawn for baseline levels. Usually they check estrogen, testosterone, a complete metabolic panel, a complete blood count, and they should probably do prolactin and a lipid panel (lipid is a fasting panel ideally, but if you’re not used to having your blood taken make sure you eat something before the visit).

You can usually start the medications before getting your labs back, unless you have a medical history that warrants waiting, although that’s kind of up to the prescriber.

Visits should be every 3 months the first year, then 6 months the second year, and them yearly. You may need slightly more frequent visits if you change the route of your medication, or if you’re labs aren’t in the goal range.

It’s important to look into minority stress and see if they have any resources or groups they can connect you with. Trans folks have higher rates of mental illness - that’s not because there is something inherently wrong with us. It’s because we live in a society that can be very hostile to us, even in places that are considered progressive. Start working on resilience now, and try not to do it alone. It’s a lot.

Finally, my personal recommendation is to look into voice lessons, especially if you are not socially out. Not only is it rewarding to have your voice reflect who you really are, having the space to try out your identity, name, pronouns, presentation, etc. in a safe and affirming space can be just wonderful. It really helped me figure some things out when I wasn’t sure exactly where my path would lead.

And, in the ancient wisdom of our people, just remember - you got this.