mar_k [he/him]

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: February 19th, 2023

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  • My high school sex ed never taught anything gay or anal. So I knew to wear a condom with my first girlfriend, but until I was a freshman in college (a year ago…) I didn’t realize it’s important to wear one with a guy too. First gay experience, we’d been seeing each other for a month and I thought I was pretty ready, sock on the dorm door and everything, but then bro asked me if I had a condom and I was like “huh?” And obviously I didn’t so he just gave me head instead

    For whatever reason I thought condoms only helped in vaginal sex, since that’s the only thing they taught its use for. Didn’t really know how gay and bi men prevent STIs other than monogamy and a few other assumptions. Part of that stupidity was probably just me being optimistic and horny brained about not having to wear anything


  • Ok, I would recommend texting lines and other online services instead of a counselor. I also think finding productive forums for this could help you out (places with actual support, not places that will make you feel worse).

    Don’t ever assure someone in a bad position that it’ll get better.

    I didn’t though. I said “life changes for the better for people all the time,” even people in extreme lifelong conditions like yours. I didn’t assure you anything will get better. I just meant it’s possible and attainable if you work towards it. That might be hard in your current state, but I don’t think it’s impossible. There’s a ton of good people out there. I’d hug you right now if I could.


  • mar_k [he/him]@hexbear.nettoWholeSomeMemes@lemmy.mlPeople love you quietly
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    11 months ago

    I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve as much as anyone, you’re not unlovable. I wish I could help you, but I’m not too good at this, or knowing what to say.

    I’ve been suicidal before, and while I haven’t experienced anything like that, I can assure you that life changes for the better for people all the time, even if it doesn’t seem like it will. You’re not stuck. There’s a lot of coldness in this world, but there’s also people you can meet if you put yourself out there. The other comment you got was sort of toxic, but they’re right in that if you put effort in it doesn’t have to be like that.

    I’d also recommend looking for community resources, local counselors, and maybe using a texting crisis line, like this. Idk about lemmy but there’s also probably a lot of productive mental health forums you can find all over the internet, for people with similar experiences that might be able to help you out better.




  • Ok I didn’t see that thread because I tend to look over some posts. I still think drawing attention to a post isn’t fully the same when we’re all one giant community of communities. I feel like you’re being a little over reactive to some terminally online people being argumentative and annoying you a bit. Maybe it is sort of a brigade tho.

    you’re turning on your peers, whilst patting yourself on the back for being inclusive

    Respectfully I feel like you’re doing this right now, wanting to separate from other trans folks just because the vocality of their beliefs is annoying you and a few of the people in this thread were rude. Unfortunately stuff like this is gonna happen if someone makes a post specifically about us, but in no other cases have we gone around dominating blahaj posts. I also don’t see how we’re “disrupting a safe and inclusive space” by giving our takes.


  • I’m sorry but I don’t understand how commenting under a post from an instance we’re federated with is considered brigading. It’s not like we’re posting about/linking to a separate space to infiltrate. Our communities are under the same umbrella, so this just shows up in our feed.

    Are people from hexbear jumping into a discussion that should maybe primarily be reserved for blahaj? Maybe, but I think people just want to offer our side of things, and we honestly just don’t want the two biggest queer spaces in the fediverse breaking up because we’re often edgy and argumentative/passionate about leftist beliefs.

    I also don’t think we’re derailing from anything or preventing you from having a defederation conservation among yourselves just because we leave replies.