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Exactly true with it not being a primary hobby for most people who game.
When I was a kid gaming wasn’t as widely considered as an acceptable hobby in general, but as a kid you just didn’t care what grown ups thought (games make people violent anybody?). By the time I hit university, people got shamed for it by non-gamer peers and I did a computer science degree too so it wasn’t a group of non-tech people who did the shaming either. By my early twenties I learned not to talk about it and just mention gaming as a hobby if asked and never elaborate further…
For ARPGs if you feel burnt by Diablo IV, I can recommend Path of Exile. Arguably the king of the genre today.
Others mentioned Grim Dawn, which has a bit slower gameplay, but a good choice nonetheless.
If you’re looking for indie ARPG, then there’s Chronicon. Nice little game that I really want to go back to again.