Hey friend, I saw this post a couple days ago and it’s been sitting with me since then and I’ve been thinking about what I would say here. I know this kind of thing is tough. Passing is often seen as the most important part of transitioning, primarily because the rest of society explicitly or implicitly demands it. And if that’s important to you, that’s perfectly valid.
Personally, I’m more of a gender abolitionist. Gender is a social construct that society has tried (and kind of failed) to narrowly define and place barriers around. And we live in that society, so we can’t escape those feelings that have been forced on us and pounded into our subconscious. But it’s good to remember that it’s all bullshit. What a man looks like and what a woman looks like, even the traits that society has assigned to them aren’t rigid. There’s a wide spectrum for both with a HUGE overlap. I think this world would be a better place if we didn’t have genders, but individuals that interacted with each other as human beings who are allowed to look and feel the way that just feels natural to them without judgement or pushback. I know the world isn’t anywhere close to that, and I have doubts it could ever get there. Even holding these beliefs myself I still have subconscious thoughts intrude that contradict this ideal. But I take those moments to observe those thoughts and push back on them internally to better myself in this direction.
That being said, regardless of why you want to look more “feminine”, it’s valid and should be supported by everyone. I support you in this. Do what makes you feel happy and secure.
One more thing. I’m real bad about just letting every instance here in my feed, because I don’t want to miss out on potentially good content. So I didn’t immediately realize this was in Transfem. But when I saw your picture, I saw a woman, for what it’s worth.
Hey! Nice to see you again! I can’t speak for the Artificer up there, but I started on .world, found my main spot in SFFA because it leans into my interests, but I kept seeing blahaj posts everywhere and generally do like the vibe. I’ve got an account on this instance because I have accounts on a lot of them and just hop around when I exhaust the new stuff in one of them (And kinda of because I still don’t fully understand the fediverse. I’m not super technically minded). I don’t curate my feed, I just keep it on All to give me a wide net for interesting stuff to read in the mornings.
I’ve spoken about this before, I’m a gender abolitionist, but I know that society isn’t there. That means that some groups need the support that society at large doesn’t give, so I try to speak up and help out where I can in my limited scope. In general, I think everyone should have the support they need in life to be happy. And I want people to be happy, so I do what I can and speak up when I can. And blahaj.zone just seems like an overall good place with nice people mostly just trying to have some fun and support each other. It’s a great and wholesome support network here and it makes me happy it exists.