Here’s the thing… Feeling sexy is, well, hot. Feeling good about yourself, can elicit a physical response. It isn’t uncommon to get an erection or feel aroused when you feel good about yourself, and euphoria can make you feel very good about yourself.
If you haven’t yet, take a look at genderdysphoia.fyi
It’s a pretty good read, going through the history and science of gender dysphoria/transgender/two spirit/all that stuff. Good luck on your journey!
I have recently discovered an invention. It covers blemishes, wrinkles, and has been known to at least one person to help with self-confidence. I call it “makeup.”
Joking aside, I’m starting to find that incorporating makeup into my morning routine helps with my self-image and confidence. And a little goes a long way! A bit of foundation or concealer, some eyeshadow, some blush, a touch of lipstick, and in 20 or so minutes, you’ll look fabulous! I’ve only applied it to myself a few times, but getting some help from my kids and some new friends has helped me a lot!
If you aren’t comfortable with makeup yet, I suggest finding a few trusted friends to paint you up and give you some pointers, if you haven’t already!
I’m sorry you feel so unsafe you feel the need to carry a weapon. I’m thankful enough that the only transphobia I’ve encountered is from my family, and maybe mild transphobia (intentional misgendering) from some customers and a manager.
My mom wanted to bring my grandmother over the other day to “play board games,” but it felt weird. I declined, she wanted to talk, I felt like nothing has changed.
She makes me feel emotionally unsafe, I realized. With her difficulty accepting my children for years, and now me, it is making it very difficult for me to want to try to repair our relationship. Her husband has banned me from her house, cuz I said her actions were that of a bad parent and person.
All this word vomit/salad to say, I relate. At least to difficulties from your family. All I can say, is I think my mom and yours would probably be fast friends.
Take a break from them if you need to, clear your head. I’m happy for you that your at-home family has been so supportive! Good luck.
37, here, about three months into my journey. I’m just a wee baby.
I feel you. My mom is like “why do you want to have to worry about bigots?” And I’m like “You can’t un-eat from the Tree of Knowledge, mom!”
Ignorant people make it seem like a choice. The only choice we are making is to express the deepest parts of ourselves, to take off the mask that was foisted upon us.
You should probably bring up the fact those kids are suicidal is because they don’t have a proper support network, like loving, accepting parents, and then look at them pointedly. And then follow up with “but I have a loving support group that wants me to be happy, so you don’t have to worry about me being a statistic.”
My son came out to me a little at a time. Testing the water saying they are lesbian, before they came out as trans. He came out to me in a letter, and was also scared of rejection.
I knew the statistics, that LGBTQ+ kids have a higher rate of self-harm, depression, and suicide. Knowing nothing at the time, I accepted him on the spot, every time. There was a small pushback from the wife, but I pulled her to the side in private, laid it out, and said he needs our support, regardless of weather we understand anything.
Your parents sound like they are good people, and your mom is letting you know she is at least okay if you were gay.
Don’t take this as word of God, but it sounds to me that she may not initially understand you, but she will try. It’s how I was, and now my kids father is their mother lol!
As a parent, watching my kids grow, and seeing their struggles with coming out and anxiety, seeing how MY family has treated them, and me, I can only grasp at how you are feeling now. I know it’s gotta be tough.
I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.
Well, some suggestions, to maybe help you feel more in-line with yourself, without being “suspicious:”
Before I even started questioning, some of my favorite socks were some really long, masculine styled socks, but went above my knee. Could give you the feeling of wearing stockings without turning heads.
Maybe you could incorporate jewelry? A simple necklace or bracelet might help.
Shaving my body hair really helped me start to find myself, and was one of my first big hits of euphoria. But, if you are especially hairy, people may take notice, and your partner definitely will.
Maybe talk that one out with your partner first, so it doesn’t come off as a surprise and shock them?
A fellow woman of culture, I see!
I want to help, but I feel like you are more venting than asking for help? I’m trying to pick up on that more, trying to be a better listener.
Previous point aside, I feel you. The confusion, fear of losing your family… You can look at my history and feel vindicated in your worries… But I suggest you don’t.
This is your story. Tell it how you want. If you think being in the closet for a while longer is better for you, we support you
If you decide to come out, we support that too.
And if, at some point, you may think you are cisgendered, well, we support that too
I’d like to think the trans community is mostly about learning who you are, and being true to yourself, regardless of where it leads, or at least that’s how I approach it.
Just, remember to try to teach those around you how to love, regardless of what you decide. The only way we can make the world a better place is to try to teach people that everyone deserves love, compassion, and respect.
I had a really weird realization yesterday that my two sons are my “trans elders.”
They have been out for years, and the oldest is taking puberty blockers, while I’ve been out for just a few months and trying to deal with and understand things about myself that are completely new to me. They have been really good guides when they can, and super supportive.
I’m so thankful for them.
Well, good luck, and we can try to give you what emotional support we can here. We try to be a supportive lot, though I’ve been known to be a bit of a hard-ass. I’m trying to be better.
The Void Rains Upon Her Heart
It’s a boss battler/ shoot-em-up/ roguelite/ bullet hell game.
It’s themes center very heavily on depression, anxiety and self-harm, so content advisory if you’re sensitive to that.
I kinda identity with the first character a bit, but maybe I’m projecting?
A lot of the lore is told through multiple playthrough, and unlocking items and reading lore on them Dark Souls style, but much easier to follow. It’s been in early access for years, but I think that’s mostly just writing and art. There’s TONS of content to keep ya going for a while. I got it as part of Yogscasts Jingle Jam bundle a few years back, so idk what the price is on it.
It isn’t even that complex if you are doing basic forms. Literally plug in numbers from a document that gets mailed to you January 15.
These are just private companies that typically fleece you out of a percentage of your income tax return.
My ex made us file taxes using “experts” for 17 years, even though I proved to her I could do it myself, and came up with the same numbers the “experts” did, because “they insure you if something goes wrong”
It’s a scam. TurboTax, Jackson Hewitt, it’s a scam
You’re right, that title would have been much less wordy if “United State of America’s Internal Revenue Service, the government department responsible for collecting taxes” was added.
I’m so happy this distraction tactic is working and everyone is talking about a goddamn laptop instead of the actual court case.
My brother has been there more than my parents have. Whenever Mom and dad exchanged custody, he was there.
And I guess I have always had this idealized vision of my mom.its been two months, but I’m still having problems flipping that switch, allowing myself to let them go. 37 years is a long time, ya know?
Sky, it doesn’t anger me. I have genuine concern for you. I, myself have major depressive disorder, as do all three of my kids. My oldest is battling an addiction with cutting. Your depression touches me deeply, and I want to help you and I don’t know how.
Honestly, there are many more people much more knowledgeable than me, in this community. But, with what knowledge I do have, it should redistribute some fatty tissue, I think, regardless of weather or not you lose weight. It may take longer than you expect, or the changes may have been happening and you haven’t noticed.
I would almost recommend maybe recording your own timeline, but with your body image issues it may be difficult for you.
I deeply apologize for coming off as angry.
Well, I gave you my advice. If you use it or don’t, that’s up to you. Good luck, Godspeed.
Then you aren’t taking care of your body well. Your body still needs energy, and if you don’t have enough energy to move, you won’t be losing weight. You will be too tired to exercise, and won’t burn any calories.
Your body is trying to conserve energy cuz you arent taking care of it well. Three small meals will treat you so much better than the one. It sounds counterintuitive, I know, but if you don’t feel well enough to do anything, you won’t.
Edit: could also be why your mental health has been in the shitter. If you aren’t eating well, it really messes with you, mind and body. Eating so little will make you sick, foggy, and have no energy to do anything
Keto worked for me for a while. It’s a high fat, mid protein, low carb diet.
You want to keep carbohydrate intake super low. Basically, your veg intake will mostly be green leafy veggies. Fruit, for the most part, is a no-go. Fruit is super high in sugar.
No bread, no pasta.
Allllllll the meat you want. Burgers, wapped in lettuce. Meat based (vs bean based) chili.
There are many, many keto recipes out there. But again, all diets boil down to minding your calorie intake. It may help you to download a calorie tracking app.
Do you have a local park you could walk at? Bicycling? Pushups and situps at home? There’s ways, friend. I sincerely wish you luck.
Honey, this is your depression acting up again. Talk to your therapist, please. We can’t give you the help you need. You are beautiful and loved, and please, take some time for self care. It does wonders for ones mental health.