I’ve become attached to this eldritch abomination.
I’ve become attached to this eldritch abomination.
Easy. It’s a dried and shellacked squid that has been posed in an artful, somehow bipedal and menacing position. I call it the creeping horror and keep it in an old wooden box.
Not really my taste, but it was a gift.
Well that’s terrifying.
My old vacuum bags were meant to be tossed, but I just emptied it and put it back because $.
I was just thinking about “quirky” because my sister-in-law recently used it to describe her daughter. Her contrasting word (for her son) was “straightforward.”
Personally, I fit the former even though I’ve learned to “pass for normal.” NOT my words. That was a direct quote and it was meant as a compliment. Weird is definitely meant as an insult in the US Midwest.
Exactly. That kitty encompasses and rules over aaaalllll that couch. Surfaces and interior volume (as soon as he discovers it). No room for anybody else. Just ask him.
In the US they were definitely out of fashion in the '80s and '90s. They were fashion statement that said “I’m a gross hippie” or worse, a BeeGee.
I was a teen at the time and the consensus among teen girls was that a beard was the ultimate dealbreaker of a physical attribute. Makes sense, really, because most guys our age couldn’t grow a nice one if they wanted to. (And also - hippies are gross). I always respectfully disagreed, and would point to our classmate, Murad. He had pretty well grown facial hair by junior year and he looked fiiiinne.
The exception that proved the rule? Luckily (for Murad) my classmates generally agreed, but refused to back down from their opinion in general.
That attitude persisted, with the occasional appearance of a goatee or soul patch in the late '90s, both of which proved to be a gateway drug that led to the appearance of proper beards. I think a lot of guys would have liked to have beards, but realized that they were driving away potential partners. But they were pretty normal by 2010.
I’ll drop this line from wikipedia, which should illustrate just how boringly mainstream beards have become in the US.
Since 2015 a growing number of male political figures have worn beards in office, including Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, and Senators Ted Cruz and Tom Cotton.
Damn hippies.
I have an at-home laser hair removal gun. It works best on dark hair and very pale skin because it uses the absorption of UV light to heat and kill the hair. It has a safety feature that makes you validate that “my skin is pale enough to use this” before it will turn on because it will burn anything dark. Hair, skin, whatever.
It won’t work on blond or white hair, and there’s no real workaround to that. Electrolysis is an option for light colored hair, but I think that’s more invasive. Not an option for me, so I haven’t looked into it.
7:07am. Milan.
I’m woken by two texts from my coworker. “Thought we were meeting in the lobby at 7:00. Heading to the train station.”
The train leaves at 7:20. “Well I can’t…” or can I?
Clothes on. Glasses on. All toiletries swept into purse. I run like hell.
There’s a pedestrian underpass, but I Frogger across the road and through the square. I’m in the station with a minute to spare and I’m still somehow running. My shoes are shabby Converse and the floor is polished marble. And I’m 45.
Things are going as ok as any of that can be until I have that out of body moment when I know my foot to forward motion ratio is incompatible with staying upright.
I lunged into the fall, made an extremely satisfying “splat” sound, and skidded several horizontal meters on the marble floor. Two or more nicely dressed Italians look at me in horror, but I’m not physically hurt. Big smile. I thought about Mary Catherine Gallagher-ing it with a victory pose, but just got up and kept running.
Made the train as it was pulling out, brushed hair/teeth once i caught my breath. Moved to the correct train car at the next stop, and met up with my colleague.
We had a nice day trip and the waiter was horrified at how much wine we drank at lunch.
Is “going back to school” a thing in Germany? From what I know about that education system I’m guessing not, but in the US that’s a standard answer.
“I want to move to be closer to my aging parents.” - might work. If you haven’t shared much about your life, it’s an easy lie. And it’s dull and depressing, so the odds of followup questions are slim. I hear it a lot when interviewing job candidates in our area.
Presumably it’s the same reason that I couldn’t find a way to close my bank account (in person, at the fucking bank) in 1998. And presumably it’s the same reason that my elderly parents can’t get their Medicare supplemental insurance agent to close out their account prior to their move to another state, where that insurance won’t be accepted.
You’re a customer. They love you. Reasons.