I am cleaning up a years old mess and mulling over abstracted inner philosophy as one does. So why do other people care if someone wants to check out, punch their own card, start life retirement. Why would there ever be a stigma or law against such a thing, (other than profiteering from misery). In my attempt to reason why some worthwhile human might find it offensive, independent of outside influences like religion, the only thing I can think of is the idea, “to give up on one’s self implies giving up on everyone else,” like perhaps the person that takes offense does so out of their desire to help but lacks an effective means or opportunity. True/not true, is there some facet I am neglecting? What do you think?
It’s very tricky waters. I’m of a few minds on this subject but my primary principle is - it’s your life, you do with it what you will to it. I’ll be incredibly sad when you’re gone, but in the back of my mind, I’ll understand. I won’t like the reality moving forward without you around, but I’ll understand.
And I think with those who I know, a lot of them don’t really understand what someone is going through with suicidal ideation and their struggles. I’m allowed to do with my life as I see fit, I even have a designated death age, an age I wish to die by and I’ll do everything I can to make sure I at least see that day. I have to keep most of this under wraps from some of I know, but very few do, because I know I’ll just be triggering ‘saviors’. Saviors I don’t even want to have.
I disagree heavily that people who wish to do suicide is a selfish act. In fact, I think it’s the other way around, when people want to keep you alive and it’s usually because the reason is that they just want you as their security blanket. Their go-to person. Their coping mechanism. And if those reasons are the reasons why someone wants to keep you for, like no actual productive and purposeful reasons there, then I truly think that’s selfish in of itself. And I think it’s incredibly insufferable that people want to continue another’s own suffering by prolonging it by denying them their wish.
It’s one thing to prevent someone from suicide who might not be in the right mind, than those who have truly made their mind up. I am someone who has made their mind up for the road ahead. I have lived a life where I’ve ‘put people over’, using a wrestling term there, by making them look better than me in comparison.
I don’t think I’m giving up on everyone else and I don’t think I’m giving up on myself. I’m just giving up the things I’m truly tired of upkeeping and pretending to live in a life with what I know that I completely and continue to be, at severe odds with. And I’ve lived long enough to where I think on these things over and over to where I’ve come to the acceptance of my path and choice.
I’ve done all that I think I could for those who I cared for and try to care for. In the end, I can just say ‘I tried’.