• GFGJewbacca@ag.batlord.org
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    1 year ago

    I was long distance with my wife for over a decade before we started living in the same place. We stayed committed the entire time because we care deeply for each other, and wanted each other to get the education we needed. Did it suck to be apart that long? Damn right. But to say that it’s human nature to cheat when not in the same place is BS.

    • dfc09@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yep, I deployed and my wife and I stayed faithful to each other. The military just has a way of convincing terrible matchups to get married. I started dating my wife a bit before I joined, and basic training had me ready to marry her as soon as I graduated. Luckily she was smarter than me and we waited a few years and worked out about 40,000 problems before we actually got married.

      But I see a lot of young soldiers who aren’t smarter. The military can make you feel very alone, make you miss your friends or girlfriend super badly, make you want to make a big romantic gesture when you get back to them, make you want to lock in a partner to face the world with. So yes the 18-20 year olds go marry somebody they really shouldn’t have, and over the years they grow apart because they were only held together by expectations. Then when they get split up by a deployment, they both want to experience another person consequence free.

      • vd1n@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        It’s almost as if some aren’t mature enough at 18 to be in the military.

        • dfc09@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I agree, but very few self respecting adults are going to voluntarily sign up for a combat MOS, and we gotta keep those gears turning on the military industrial complex!

          For real though, I got lucky. Joined at 19, thought I wanted to kill people, didn’t deploy until I was 23 and much more in the mindset of “what the fuck this is not me at all”

          A lot of the younger guys were vocally disappointed when they found out it was just a peacekeeping mission, low risk. Us “older guys” just said thank God, we’d like to go back to our families at the end of this.

          • 0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster
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            1 year ago

            No one is actually mature enough at the age of 18. It’s society’s norm for matureness because you have to set a somewhat low enough limit for things like this, like enlisting.

            Im reality, you mature completely when you’re about 25.

    • 0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster
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      1 year ago

      You my friend are probably one of the few that made it. You have no idea how many blond-haired blue-eyed gypsies we have around here, all born around the time when NATO got involved in the post-war activities. Hey, not saying all of them were married, but I’d bet at least some of them were.

      As I said, it’s human nature. We all wanna snuggle to a warm body when we go to bed… or have sexual releif after a long day… or both. Otherwise, this meme wouldn’t actually be a meme in the first, place, why would you make a meme like this if things weren’t actually like this.

      They are, whether you like to admit it or not. If things worked out for you, that doesn’t mean they worked out for everyone else. If you believe in eternal love and living happily ever after, I’m sorry to say but you live in a fairy tale. Most people would rather cheat than wait for their significant other to return. Hell, I would. I wouldn’t actually be OK with my SO leaving me to go and do… whatever, but if she’s so bent on doing that, hell, I’m not gonna wait for her to get her master’s or whatever, while I’m over here jerking off, bone dry. Fuck that, I didn’t sign up for that. I’ll stay married, for the sake of the kid, at least till he’s grown, but she didn’t think about my physical needs when leaving, so why should I care about being fathefull. Hell, I’m not surpirsed if she cheated on me as well. But if she was the one that wanted to go abroad to do whatever, why would she be pissed if she found out I was cheating. I would actually tell her this before she left, that there is a good chance I will cheat on her if she just got up and left for 2, 3, 10 years. It’s not like I’m not gonna warn her. And if she still decides to go, hell, it’s all on her. Hell, she was warned.

      Babe, I love you, but I also love sex… it’s just who I am… you knew this when we got married (and she does know this, that I love sex), so I really can’t be held responsibe if my wife is not around. Sorry, it’s just how I am and where things stand. If I knew you were planning on making this thing long distance when we got married, I’m sorry but I probably never would have married you in the first place.

      This is exactly what I would say to her if she planned on making our marriage a long distance one. As I said, that is NOT what I signed up for.