This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/burneraccount1232143 on 2023-10-04 07:40:06.

Im (50F) with a lot of health issues but always have been the breadwinner. My husband john (46M) has on and off jobs, more off than on. At the start of our relationship we had an agreement since I had the education and job experience we didn’t want anybody else to raise our kids. At the time he had three kids by somebody else, Jessica (24F), Gracie and Jordan(27 they are twins). My kids I had with him in our marriage are Taylor (17F) and Charles (19M) both of my kids are still in school but have jobs . John and I have been married for almost 24 years.

For the last 7 years I have been taking care of all the kids. He decided that he wanted to cheat and step out of the marriage more than once. I always welcomed him back with open arms. I’m now realizing that I shouldn’t have but I did. Fast forward to now I’ve still been taking care of all of his kids, and they refuse to get jobs. Except for the kids that I had. I want to say that they have a mom to take care of them but she just didn’t have the money to support them. I knew that I couldn’t leave his older kids to be homeless, so I offered them a place to stay.

They are disrespectful to this day, they smoked weed all day, and refuse to help clean. I pay all the bills alone because my husband also doesn’t have a job. My kids are in school and still have jobs so I want to know what their excuse is. I can’t take care of his older kids for the rest of their lives.

My husband is saying that I’m wrong for pressuring them to get jobs. They live in the real world where you have to have a job to support themself. I gave them the choice, they can either get a job or go back to school. Not college, they haven’t finished high school, I tried everything I could to make them go back but they didn’t. I know that it’s hard to get a job without a high school diploma so I told them to go back to school or get a job. They don’t want to work at a fast food place but there aren’t many options when you haven’t finished high school.

I pay over 4,200 bills not including food. I spend over $400 in groceries a week, and mostly they are eating all of it, because my kids will doordash food for themselves or eat out. I do realize that they grew up differently from how I raised my own kids, but I still think it’s reasonable for them to get a job. All I’m asking is for $200 for rent. That is more than they spend on weed and drinking in a month.

Please tell me if AITAH or not. My husband is saying that I am but I need a different opinion.